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For Struggling Couples: Try The Gottman Method

If you and your partner are struggling in a relationship, you should know that Dr. Julie and John Gottman have discovered that relationship conflicts tend to fall into two categories:

  • conflicts that can be solved
  • conflicts that will continue to be present in your relationship but that can be managed with attention and care

In fact, John and Julie Gottman believe that 60% of all relationship conflicts fall into the second category, and The Gottman Method is focused on supporting couples in managing these conflicts. The Gottman Method was developed in the 1980’s by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. It is an evidence-based treatment method for couples, intended to assist couples with achieving more empathy, understanding, awareness, and connection between two people, which leads to a greater degree of intimacy and growth. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy include:

  • increase intimacy, respect, and affection
  • remove barriers that drive couples to go in circles in their conflicts
  • create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding

Drs. John and Julie Gottman developed nine components of healthy relationships known as The Sound Relationship House Theory.

  • Build Love Maps
  • Share Fondness and Admiration
  • Turn Towards Instead of Away
  • The Positive Perspective
  • Manage Conflict
  • Make Life Dreams Come True
  • Create Shared Meaning
  • Trust
  • Commitment

If you’d like to make your relationship work, VCC Therapist Lexi Heinzer is Gottman Certified and can support your relationship using The Sound Relationship House Theory.